Last night after our pedicure and before it was time to crawl into bed, we decided it would be perfect time for some yoga. I've been skipping yoga because I could never find any time to be alone to practice. It didn't dawn on me that I could do yoga right there with them. No, it wasn't the same as the times I have alone when I can really sink into my heart and just 'BE' but this was a different feeling of peace. I loved having those little girls join me while we focused on our breath and moved into our best version of downward dog. Of course, it was only Lexi and I who were really focusing and breathing. Lexi mimicked every move and really tried to do her best in each position. Evalyn sat there and did her own version of what we were doing. She had me cracking up. It was Evalyn who was the best at downward dog, she had those flat feet and straight back, that I can't wait to be able to do. (I am so not flexible) This was such a joy to watch, I loved every bit of this yoga experience. My heart was warm and glowing and there was so much love. Of course at the end during shavasana Lexi would deliver a pillow for me to rest and then Evalyn would take it away. We all laughed.
This moment reminded me that I am the woman who will teach these girls how they should see themselves and it isn't in the judgement that they receive from me but instead of how I treat myself. They are learning how to love by the way I love myself. This right here is the most important thing I could do for my girls is to learn how to better love myself, forgive myself, as well as learning strength in my words and heart. Making sure I am always standing true to WHO I AM. This is how I will teach them to grow into someone strong and beautiful. It all begins with knowing that I AM STRONG and BEAUTIFUL.
I find myself making so many excuses for myself about not doing the things that I know are important and true for me to have balance and energy. It's important that I make these needs aware and live them in a way that they become a part of me that is just known and respected. I want my girls to know that their needs and requirements are so important. Not only in the foods we eat but in the way we respect ourselves, sit and listen to our heart's desires and live to dream each dream we have. I want them to know it is so important for us to play, as well as work hard. If this is something I want to teach it must be my practice first.
So... I guess what I'm saying is that I don't have to do everything I enjoy in private or alone. YES alone time is important but I don't have to skip out on the things I love just because I'm not alone or it won't be efficient enough because I'll keep getting interrupted. BUT, I can SLOW DOWN and in the times where I just haven't had a chance to get time away. . . I can enjoy doing those same things with my kids. Dream, write, draw, read, exercise....
I know you might be thinking DUH! But in all honesty this is a hard one for me. I've always had time where I could be ALONE.. all alone. Until I became a stay at home mom, I didn't even know what that meant for me. If we go way back into my childhood you would find a little girl, playing, dreaming, writing, creating magic all alone because that was exactly the way I liked it. I enjoyed to be in my own thoughts without interruption. I was my very own best friend. I've found it quite difficult to still have this best friend when I'm constantly with another. Even after all this time It still took a moment where all I needed to do was BREATH, and slow down in my daily life. I've discovered that I don't have to completely escape to tap into those moments of relaxation and peace.
BREATHE is my word for this year. I'm ready to slow down, love myself with each breath, and respect myself by taking care of my mind and my body.
This is not only important for me but it is important for these girls to see and know that they are not only loved but they are LOVE themselves.
So much love,
JeNeal
